Inspired by Jonathan McReynolds, “Excited” | Make More Room
We are halfway through the first month of the year — 2020. The start of a new decade.
Can you believe it?
I remember when it turned 2000…I was ten years old. Being the nervous child that I was, I remember being anxious of what the next years would bring. Maybe nervous is the wrong word…I was more so scared, terrified! It was the year of Y2K, when the world was supposed to end.
Twenty years later, I’m glad to still be alive! Beyond that, at the start of this next decade, I am excited.
I am excited for all that these next ten years will bring.
I am excited and hopeful for the vision God has on my life…that everything will come to fruition.
The last time I stepped foot on this turf was almost 12 years ago. It was during my high school graduation. I remember being awed by how bouncy it was, each step exaggerated with the excitement I felt for my future. At seventeen, I had so many hopes and dreams. Although I knew it wouldn’t be easy, everything still felt attainable if I continued to work and put my mind towards the things that I wanted to accomplish.
There’s something that we all experience with adulthood — true adulthood, as all teens think they’re grown (until they find out they aren’t). With age, comes being broken.
Plans don’t turn out. Dreams get deferred. The struggle of being an adult, having to compromise and make tough decisions become oh too real.
I told myself 12 years ago that I would never step foot back on this ground, until I have accomplished what I set out to do — become a famous doctor. Be filthy rich. Marry the man of my dreams. Love our kids.
Now, 12 years later…I have yet to accomplish a single one of these things. Can I be honest with you? For the longest time, this has been something that I’ve allowed to truly break me.
Feeling unaccomplished, or unfulfilled, no longer pursuing the things that I was once so passionate about. I lost my passion, falling into the humdrum of every day life — life without the excitement of wondering what’s next.
If you’ve been there, you know life like this doesn’t feel so great.
The last couple of years, I’ve come to realize that dreams aren’t as set in stone, as I thought they once were. Dreams change as you change, and that’s okay.
While I still look forward to love, wealth, and growing a family, I have stripped myself of the pressure of trying to achieve ‘dreams’.
Instead, entrusting my life to God’s vision, and to His will. Jeremiah 29:11 says:
For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
Just like any loving parent, God wants nothing but the best for our lives. He wants for us to prosper. He wants for us to be excited and hopeful for the joys that life will bring.
In this, it doesn’t say that we will get everything that we want. It doesn’t say that His plans for our lives, will always align with what we see for ourselves.
Sometimes what we want for our lives, ultimately, isn’t what is best. How many times have you gotten yourself into not so great situations chasing after what felt good or exciting in the moment?
I realized, that although my intentions were good, the plans and goals I made for my life were self-centered…in the sense that they were just what I wanted, and not in sync with perhaps what was God’s will for my life.
Does this make sense…honestly, I don’t know if it does.
But what I do know, this year, 2020, I am being purposeful in having conversation with God. Asking Him for guidance and direction.
While I will still have goals, that I’m sure will change with each stage of life that I enter into next, my only life’s mission is to be an example of God’s love, so that others may learn to love Him too.
I know this next decade won’t be perfect. But I am excited. I know with it, will come new experiences. New journeys. New learning opportunities. New goals and plans. And new life.
So as I stand here, on the turf I said I would never return too, I yet again look forward for all that is to come, and all that will be…
Take a moment to listen to the song below. Each month will feature a blog post relating to music from Jonathan McReynold’s Make More Room album. Each song on this album has left a mark on heart, ministering to each onion peel of emotions I’ve felt in life, especially as a millennial. Until next time, Maya <3
