Being Broke…
In 2012, my senior year in college, I had the opportunity to travel during winter break to Costa Rica. Costa Rica is located right between Nicaragua and Panama — in Central America — easily one of the most beautiful places I have ever traveled.
While there, we learned about many things — the environment, the culture, the land — traveling through Costa Rica was like traveling to another world. One thing in particular that I learned about Costa Rica is that they operate in “Tico Time.” What is Tico Time? It is a way of being fashionably and appropriately late to a function or just in general.
Okay, so some of you may be wondering, what exactly does this have to do with the topic? Where Costa Rica tends to be more ‘life’ oriented rather than ‘time’ oriented, the US is always on the go. You know the saying, “time is money.”
This brings me to my problem.
I feel like I am running out of time, out of money, out of patience, and out of hope. As you know, about a year ago now, I had two major surgeries — my legs were surgically broken and I had to learn how to walk again for the 4th time. That being said, it has been over a year that I received a paycheck. I am blessed to have two loving parents, who would willingly give me the world if it were possible. They have supported me through thick and thin, both emotionally, physically, and financially. And I am so thankful! But……it has been a struggle for me not being able to financially support myself. I hate having to rely on my parents for so much….food, clothes, college bills, hospital bills, etc.
I feel like I am running out of time to pursue my dreams. Like many careers, public relations is a forever evolving field, and the younger you are, the better. I have never been more ready to complete my masters, becoming active in a career that excites and motivates me to continuingly do better. And while I have made steps in the ‘right direction’, I feel ready to run, when my legs are only able to walk.
All of that frustrates me, but here is what truly burdens my heart. I am 25 (almost 30!), still single, still living with roommates (aka my parents), and did I mention still single? Now, I am nowhere near ready to become someone’s wife or mother at this stage in my life, but I am ready to begin the process. Maybe because it is the holiday season, and the Hallmark Channel is playing their sappy romantic Christmas movies, but I feel ready to meet a nice guy, who I could potentially build a life with. Someone who will love and accept me for who I am, and who will encourage me to grow and achieve my dreams. I have so much love to give but have not found the person to give it to yet. That can be extremely stressing, especially when your friends and those around you are getting engaged, married and having children (darn you Facebook).
So yeah, these are the few things I constantly think about in the quiet hours: time, money, work and love.
Finding Patience without Money…and Other Problems
Although all of these things weigh heavily on my heart, and on my mind, I realize something negates it all.
I realize that I have to be patient….which was never a strong trait of mine. Although, I want and may need all of these things now, I must wait, and be patient for them. Why? Because being patient acknowledges the promise that God has for my life; I must trust that He will provide all of my needs and give me the desires of my heart. Look at it this way, you do not wait for something that you know will never happen. The mere fact that I feel angst for something means that it is bound to happen, someday, somehow…
And I must change my perspective. Just because something is not happening right away (or the way I want it), does not mean that progress is not being made. Going back to ‘Tico Time’, sometimes it is important to relax, and just go with the flow. Experiencing things in the moment. Sometimes living in an “on the go” society, we miss the progress that is actually being made. Last March, while being laid up in my hospital bed, I created a vision board of what I would like to accomplish in my life. Eight months later, I never imagined that I would be commuting to the city every week, interning for a well-known blogger. That is a major step in my career, and sometimes in my rush to make it to the top, I forget that my internship is a really big deal! I need to marinate in that and continue to make plans and take actions for the future.
Most importantly, always remember to be humble. There is always someone, somewhere out there, who has less. This past weekend, my church held a Thanksgiving giveaway where we donated and distributed food, clothes, blankets, socks, etc. — the bare necessities of life. Although I was not involved in delivering gift bags to the homeless, just hearing the experiences of fellow church members was enough to humble, and remind me to be thankful. I was brought to tears hearing of the different experiences had, and the many lives that were touched by our church’s act of kindness. Quite honestly, I can’t tell who gained more from the experience…the homeless or the people who gave? I think the latter.
This certainly put things in perspective for me. How can I complain about money, when there are people out there who are thankful for socks, and the opportunity to brush their teeth?
I know it is hard, and at times discouraging. Hang in there. Be patient. Be thankful…
Until Next Time,
<3
First of all, I love Costa Rica! I did some volunteer work there in my early 20s and it was an amazing experience. You know, life throws you curve balls and sometimes all you can do is roll with the punches and keep moving forward. It sounds like you've kept your head up and you're pushing through–so fabulous and great insight!
OMG yes! Costa Rica is amazing, can't wait to go back 🙂 You are absolutely right, we gotta keep pressing forward! Thanks for stopping by <3
Life definitely has its share of road blocks and bumps along the way, but it all matters how you push through it. You just have to keep your head held high! And this time of year, especially, brings about a lot of reflection. It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for – especially that good head on your shoulders!
I certainly do! Thanks for reading 🙂
You are so young! My life is not COMPLETELY different now at 29 than it was at 25. You have time!!
Lol! I keep hearing that…Gotta be patient 🙂
Hang in there! Life always seems so much clearer in hindsight. xo
thanks!!!!
This is such a helpful post!
Thanks for stopping by Lynzy 🙂
I've always wanted to visit Costa Rica! Sounds like the trip taught you a lot. Keep on moving towards your goals.
Kate, it is amazing! You must make it there one day 🙂
Keep your head up – Things will get better! xo
Beautifully written. You have a grasp on your situation and you're not having a pity party. You're strong and you do great things. It's only up up up from here!
Wow- it is incredible that you are so mindful of all of this at such a young age. When I was 25 I was out having too much fun and not living intentionally. You are doing great! I didn't get married or have my first kid until almost 30. Keep trusting in God- He will provide! 🙂
What a great post……patience is the hardest isn't it?