First and foremost, sorry for being so M.I.A lately. Not making any excuses, but I’m not lying when I say ‘things have been difficult.’ Really difficult. Outside of the pain, the doctors appointments and physical therapy, going through this experience has been a real learning lesson. A life lesson.
The first life lesson I learned is even though life seems to ‘stand still’ at times, the reality is that life keeps going. As much as we hate to admit it, we all live ‘narcissistic’ lives. Not in the usual sense of being vain or self-centered…or snobby, but in the fact that we live life from our own perspectives. Yes, we have compassion and understanding—empathy—for the lives of others, however, those feelings are felt based in our own realities. One of the hardest things to experience in life is to feel that your life is standing still, or stuck, and you see the lives of those around you still moving—getting married, having children, striving in successful careers, traveling, etc. At one point or another, all of these thoughts have been on my mind during these months of being on ‘bed rest’. I’ve had a lot of time to think, sometimes leading to deeper thoughts. Such as, “why do I have to go through this”,”why couldn’t I be the pretty popular girl in high school” or “so-and-so has it so easy. I wish I had her life.” These thoughts scared me, as they are based on my realities of how great their life is. As much as I proclaim to love myself and the life I live—knowing that God has a plan for my life—I sounded jealous. I realized that I inwardly resented what I perceived as the ‘successful lives’ of others. Again, that scared me because I am so grateful for what I have in life (friends, family), and all I have achieved. But I was too busy sulking in my current situation to realize and remember that I have so much to be thankful for. For every bad that’s in my life, the good outweighs. This leads me to my second life lesson.
The second life lesson I learned is to appreciate my self-awareness…and to run with it. I came to the conclusion that instead of spending my time being jealous, I need to appreciate what I have to offer in life, living to my fullest potential. Stop limiting myself to what I think I can or can’t do. Believe that I can achieve the things I’m ‘jealous’ for, if I truly apply myself. I don’t have to stand at the window of my life, staring in at all my dreams, desires, hopes and aspirations. By having a clear perception of myself—personality, strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions—I will be able to accomplish all of my dreams. Psalms 1:1-3 says that those who believe in God, and live their lives according to his Word “shall become like TREES planted beside waters, and everything they do shall prosper.” If I firmly believe in this, as I firmly believe in God, I have no need to feel jealous, discouraged, or nervous, about where my life will lead. We each walk different paths and have different experiences in life, but each path leads to greatness if you simply realize how great you are…simply being yourself.
All the best,