The other day, I found myself looking through my high school yearbook — class of ‘o8 represent! It was nice reliving all the memories and fun times, that I feel happened only yesterday. All was great…until I turned the page and saw this:
Okay, not bad. Despite the puffy hair, the cool smirk, and strategically holding up blank papers. It’s good. Could be worst, but not bad. I turned the page again….
OMG…okay, still not bad. *takes a deep breath*
Oh, bother! Now the hair is up…
I literally have no words…especially for this next one. Notice, these are two different pictures. Same face.
What was I thinking?! I can tell you! I thought I was being sexy! But as you can see, my sexy smolder turned out to be quite the opposite 😩
This got me thinking of another high school experience of mine. It’s story time!
I was 16 years old and in my junior year of school. And just like any teenage girl, I was trying to discover myself in my beauty and in my confidence. I had this shirt, that I absolutely loved, but had never worn because it was super low cut, and my mother forbade me from ever wearing it. So, what did I do? The classic switch-a-roo before school of course!
Yeah, I did it.
I wore a sweater to conceal the fact that I had deliberately disobeyed my mother, and wore the ‘forbidden’ shirt to school! I remember being so excited to see people’s reactions, and getting attention from the boys as I debuted my new, more ‘mature’ — more revealing — look.
And attention is exactly what I got. I got the compliments, the downward wandering stares, and the whistles. Essentially, I got exactly what I anticipated. Only I didn’t like it. Not only did I feel bad for lying to my mom, I felt objectified and dirty. It was attention, but for all the wrong reasons.
I realize now that being ‘sexy’ is not about wearing provocative clothes or making ‘cute’ faces. It’s not something you gain from others and/or their opinions of you. Sexiness is a confidence that can only come from within.
If I had the opportunity to go back 10 years and speak to my sixteen-year-old self, I would simply say, smile! Be yourself! Stay true to who you are, and your values. The rest will follow. Don’t ever lower your standards for the affection of others. I promise you, it’s not worth it. They’re not worth it. If you have to change who you are for the love of someone else, what kind of love is that!?
Find value in yourself. Find confidence in yourself. Find beauty in yourself. Find love in yourself. You’ll find that the people who matter, are the people who will cherish all of those things about you, and not some pretense of who you think you should be.
Until Next Time,